A short short time recently in a galaxy near near close……….

Conversations overheard between different architectural fittings in a building project show flat.

“I have the most unappreciated job in the world”, declares the made in Singapore door handles, “as I get pulled and pressed every day and don’t even get noticed by the owner”. “What are you complaining about?”, countered the branded Mayer inductive cooking stove.  She added, “I am under extreme hot pressure before every meal time. And I cannot leave the kitchen even when I can’t stand the heat.”  “I concur with her!”, exclaimed the Bosch self-cleaning matronly looking oven embedded with the latest IOT functions.  The debate somehow ended with the statement made by the Grohe extravagant gold plated toilet bowl, “I eat shit every day and I don’t even murmur.”

To relief the tension building up in the sample room, the mortise lock that is installed in the entrance door, decides to share a joke with the rest of them, which he eavesdrop from the property agent just the other day.

A man and his wife drove home late one night after an arduous day of work, tired and stressed out.  To their horror, both of the lifts in their building broke down and it was too late to call the maintenance team to service it.  So the husband suggested to this wife that they carry each other interchangeably for one floor and the one who is being carried will tell a joke to the one bearing the person, in order to alleviate the load and make the vertical trip more pleasant.  By the way, they lived on the fiftieth floor of the tallest residential flat in Singapore. 

So first the wife carries the husband, who shows how much he loves her by this gesture, and he tells her a joke.  Then he carries her and she tells him a joke.  This carries on each floor as they tried their best to think of enough jokes to last them through the journey, and to keep themselves entertained and indeed it did help to lighten the otherwise stressful and weighty task. 

When they are on the twenty-fifth floor, they wanted to give up with their legs getting more tired and wobbly from climbing up the stairs, but somehow they managed to trudge on, one floor by one floor.  The husband remarked to his wife that he would sign her up for gym lessons in California fitness club tomorrow, and the wife sparred back with a snide comment that he should go on fasting, starting tomorrow.

Soon the husband and wife managed to reach the forty-ninth floor, with one more level to go.  What a great achievement, the wife complimented the husband.  Now it was the turn for the wife to carry the husband to the final level.  And you know what the joke that the husband told the wife as she struggles each step by each step, with sweat breaking out of her forehead and down her cheeks and panting heavily, as she completed the tenth thousand step and reaches for the metal gate to hold her unsteady gait and feeling giddy from all the climbing, the mortise lock cannot help but giggle to the rest of his counterparts. 

After a momentary pause to stop its giggling and for a dramatic effect, the lock continue, “Dear”, the husband stutters, “Let me tell you the greatest joke of all”, the husband hesitantly says, “….. I have forgotten that I left the house key in the car, parked in the basement.”  Ha! Ha! Ha!

The mortise lock, the hinges and the rest of the fittings, all have a good laugh as tears stream down their faces.  The hinges that carry the heavy weight of the door laughed the loudest and their hilarity echoed off the empty show flat.  The hinges were so tickled by this joke that tears flowed out of their eyes, which to the human observer looks like the grease that were squeezed out from the friction and pressure on the hinge knuckle bearings.  Suddenly the timber door boomed, “Are you saying that I am fat?”………….

PS: this is a purely a figment of the author’s wild imagination, while waiting for the architectural keyplans to start his ironmongery scheduling works.  Any reference made to non-living ironmongery is surely coincidental.